Archive for the ‘Emails that make you think or go hhmmm..’ Category
Gods greatest gifts
April 7th, 2012 | 
Author: Trees
by Joyce Kilmer (1886-1918)
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree.
A tree whose hungry mouth is pressed
Against the earth’s sweet flowing breast;
A tree that looks at God all day,
And lifts her leafy arms to pray;
A tree that may in summer wear
A nest of robins in her hair;
Upon whose bosom snow has lain;
Who intimately lives with rain.
Poems are made by fools like me,
But only God can make a tree.
Trees are one of
JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school
after hearing a strong preaching on the devil.
One said to the other, ‘What do you think about
all this Satan stuff?’
The other boy replied, ‘Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out.
It’s probably just your Dad.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl
whispered to her mother,
‘Why is the bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the color
of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life.’
The child thought about this for a moment then said,
‘So why is the groom wearing black?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running
as fast as she could,
trying not to be late for Bible class.
As she ran she prayed,
‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late! Dear Lord,
please don’t let me be late!’
While she was running and praying, she tripped
on a curb and fell,
getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress.
She got up, brushed herself off, and started running
again!
As she ran she once again began to pray,
‘Dear Lord, please don’t let me be late…But please
don’t shove me either!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about
their fathers.
The first boy says, ‘My Dad scribbles a few words
on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem,
they give him $50.’
The second boy says, ‘That’s nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper,
he calls it a song, they give him $100.’
The third boy says, ‘I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper,
he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to
collect all the money!’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
An elderly woman died last month.
Having never married, she requested no male
pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial
service, she wrote,
‘They wouldn’t take me out while I was alive,
I don’t want them to take me out when I’m dead.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A police recruit was asked during the exam,
‘What would you do if you had to arrest your own
mother?’
He answered, ‘Call for backup.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why
Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them toJerusalem ..
A small child replied, ‘They couldn’t get a baby-sitter.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to ‘Honour thy
father and thy mother,’ she asked,
‘Is there a commandment that teaches us how to
treat our brothers and sisters?’
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered,
‘Thou shall not kill..’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
At Sunday School they were teaching how God
created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they
told him
how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying
down as though he were ill,
and she said, ‘Johnny, what is the matter?’ Little
Johnny responded,
‘I have pain in my side. I think I’m going to have
a wife.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old..
You grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these along to people who
need a laugh.
I thought you would enjoy this….times are tough
right now…for all of us…
so we need something to make the day a happy
place.
“They” haven’t found a way to tax you for
laughing yet.
Posted in Emails that make you think or go hhmmm.., Funny Emails | 
Tags: church, jokes, told | 
1 Comment »
KIDS IN CHURCH
KIDS IN CHURCH
3-year-old Reese :
‘Our Father, Who does art in heaven,
Harold is His name.
Amen.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A little boy was overheard praying:
‘Lord, if you can’t make me a better boy, don’t worry about it.
I’m having a real good time like I am.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the christening of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
‘That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home,
and I wanted to stay with you guys.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One particular four-year-old prayed,
‘And forgive us our trash baskets
as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children as they
were on the way to church service,
‘And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?’
One bright little girl replied,
‘Because people are sleeping.’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
‘If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
‘Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.’
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
‘ Ryan , you be Jesus !’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father was at the beach with his children
when the four-year-old son ran up to him,
grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore
where a seagull lay dead in the sand..
‘ Daddy, what happened to him?’ the son asked.
‘He died and went to Heaven,’ the Dad replied.
The boy thought a moment and then said,
‘Did God throw him back down?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
‘Would you like to say the blessing?’
‘I wouldn’t know what to say,’ the girl replied.
‘Just say what you hear Mommy say,’ the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said,
‘Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?’
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
st. pats day
Make sure you follow the directions carefully. I think we all need a little luck right about now.
Hope the Leprechaun dances his jig for you!
Comments from others:
I had to forward this, my mom swears it works. The day after she sent it, they got an offer on their land on the Swannee river, they haven’t even seen that land since 1987. It came out of the blue. So you know that I’m going to try it.
Love Kim
Not sure if this had anything to do with it but it was shortly after I sent this out – I got a call to say our bond was approved – against all odds.
I don’t know if it works but I won a new fridge full of various cool drinks from Beyer and Beyer last week.
I do not know if it works, but I won a microwave yesterday Seems like it Hey !!
I hope this works my son could use a really good job!!!!!!!
Good luck to everyone! And may all your dreams come true!!
This may sound nuts, but my husband got this the other day and sent it off. About 10 minutes later a really good financial windfall happened for his son Sean who he had sent it too as well. One of the people he sent it to was responsible for the windfall.
AN IRISH FRIENDSHIP WISH
Good Luck!!
I hope it works..
May there always be work for your hands to do;
May your purse always hold a coin or two;
May the sun always shine on your windowpane;
May a rainbow be certain to follow each rain;
May the hand of a friend always be near you;
May God fill your heart with gladness to cheer you..
OK, this is what you have to do…Send this to all of your friends!
But – you HAVE to send this within 1 hour
From when you open it!
Now…………..Make A wish!!!!!!
I hope you made your wish! Now then, if you send to:
1 person — your wish will be granted in 1 year
3 people — 6 months
5 people — 3 months
6 people — 1 month
7 people — 2 weeks
8 people — 1 week
9 people — 5 days
10 people — 3 days
12 people – — 2 days
15 people — 1 day
20 people — 3 hours
If you delete this after you read it . You will have 1 year of bad luck! But .. If you send it to 2 of your friends you will automatically have 3 years of good luck!!! )
~ Never Judge Anyone ~
A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery. He answered the call ASAP, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block. He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled: “Why did you take all this time to come?Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”
The doctor smiled and said: “I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”
“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily
The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Bible “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”
“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.
The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy, “Thank God! Your son is saved!”
And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”
“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.
The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”
NEVER JUDGE ANYONE because you never know how their life is and as to what is happening or what they’re going through.
